Living Large in Limbo: ‘Refugee Fatigue’

Posted January 6, 2016 by The Argonaut in Columns

L.A. County’s embrace of Syrian refugees is a symbolic gesture at best, but it’s a better response than most

By Kelly Hayes-Raitt

Syrian children living at a refugee camp in Lebanon Photo by Kelly Hayes-Raitt

Syrian children living at a refugee camp in Lebanon
Photo by Kelly Hayes-Raitt

“Why do they have such high expectations?” my friend Anna complains about the Syrian refugees who’ve flooded Europe. “Why are they so ungrateful?”

In the wake of German Chancellor Angela Merkel embracing 800,000 Syrian refugees and newly elected Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau taking in 35,000 of them, 31 American governors declared they would not welcome Syrian refugees in their states. It’s a pompous position at best, since governors have no authority to close state borders to anyone who has legally entered the U.S.

In contrast, on Dec. 8 the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors passed a symbolic motion to “reaffirm the county commitment to hospitality, to democracy and to compassion” toward refugees — especially Syrian refugees — Supervisor Mark Ridley-Thomas, the proclamation’s sponsor, said during the discussion.

“It’s not for the County of Los Angeles to say, ‘We don’t think you built the walls high enough; we’re going to build a higher wall,’” added Supervisor Sheila Kuehl, who cosponsored the proclamation and represents many Westside neighborhoods.

Anna and I are lounging in a cheery room warmed by a fire and twinkling Christmas lights. In London for the holiday season, I missed witnessing firsthand my home county’s resolution. Instead I’m witnessing anguished ambiguity from my European peace activist friends who are experiencing “refugee fatigue.”

Not buying into the fear stoked by Donald Trump and other U.S. presidential candidates, they instead are burned out by news reports of traumatized refugees whose needs seem insatiable.

The numbers are staggering: Some 12 million people – half of Syria’s population – have fled their homes since the outbreak of the Syrian civil war four years ago.

That’s more than the 10 million people who live in Los Angeles County and three times the 3.9 million people living in the City of Los Angeles proper. Almost 70% of these refugees are women and children, according to the U.S. State Department, the Supervisors’ motion noted.

During these four years of war, the U.S. has accepted fewer than 2,300 Syrian refugees, although President Obama recently pledged to accept 10,000 more over the next fiscal year.

In 2015 alone, nearly 1 million refugees from throughout the world flooded Europe, according to António Guterres, the UN High Commissioner for Refugees. That feels huge, he points out in a recent TED Talk, but it’s only one refugee per 2,000 Europeans, whereas in Lebanon there’s one refugee for every three Lebanese.

In explaining this recent influx into Europe, Guterres cites a World Bank study: 87% of Syrians who’ve resettled in nearby Jordan and 93% of Syrians now in Lebanon live below the national poverty lines, and only half of refugee children attend school.

Guterres argues that what’s needed is increased multinational cooperation and more flexibility for international financial institutions to provide aid, explaining that Lebanon and Jordan aren’t eligible for the World Bank’s reduced rate loans and grants, for example, because they are classified as “middle income” countries — even though they are bearing the financial brunt of the world’s worst
refugee crisis since World War II.

Though a bit shocked, I understand Anna’s sentiment.

“They’ve lost everything,” I say gingerly. “Imagine being so desperate, so terrified for your children’s safety, so traumatized by the horrors you’ve witnessed, that you flee every comfort and familiarity you know to start over in a new country, with a new language, new customs, no family, no job, no economic security, perhaps discrimination, and lots of uncertainty. … And the kids I’ve spoken with, they’ve all witnessed horrifying things: Siblings brutalized or killed, schoolmates orphaned, parents unable to provide assurances or security.  I can’t imagine…

“So they come to someplace that has promised sanctuary, usually after a harrowing, exhausting, expensive trip, arriving with only what they could carry. Then they are corralled into institutional dormitories or camps while they wait to be ‘processed’ like cattle. Is it any wonder their patience breaks?”

Anna’s eyes fill with tears, but I sense she isn’t totally convinced.

Perhaps I am not totally convinced either. I’ve met refugees who seemed ungrateful, impatient, almost entitled. I have to remind myself that in Middle Eastern culture, it’s an honor to take in anyone who shows up at your door. As a visitor, I’ve frequently been the recipient of overfeeding from families struggling with post-war shortages. It must be hard for them to fathom a culture with such a fundamental difference about hospitality.

For my part, I’m proud that Los Angeles County attempts — at least by a symbolic gesture — to mirror that hospitality.

“All this motion says,” Kuehl concluded, “is that Los Angeles will continue its tradition, its devotion, to being a place [where], once the United States government has said, ‘This person may enter,’ [we] will say, ‘This is a good place to live.’”

Kelly Hayes-Raitt, a Santa Monica resident, has worked with Iraqi refugees in Damascus, Syrian refugees in Lebanon, and Palestinian refugees in the West Bank. She blogs at Living and can be reached at



    It is difficult to understand what refugees have to go through in their efforts to escape violence and war, and then to be acclimated into a new culture. My husband went through this 30 years ago, and as a naturalized US citizen, he is now on the ‘other’ side of this traumatic experience. But the complicated and the many layered memories of betrayal never go away. I believe what refugees can offer non-immigrated Americans is the pure joy of being given another chance of ‘life’ – a simple gift that we often take for granted.


    I appreciate the efforts of those who work with refugees; however, this is different. Those children pictured above are not the ones coming into Europe or the United States. Reporters have embedded themselves with these migrants, and it’s a different story. The U.N. is choosing to send Muslim males of fighting age to Europe and the U.S. About 98% of the so-called refugees are muslim males….Most are not Syrian nor refugees. Do the rapes in Sweden and Germany and elsewhere committed by Muslim men look like they involve innocent children? Where are the women in Europe? We cannot allow this country to import more dependents when we have 94 million Americans out of work, 50 Million on food stamps, and our own veterans dying while waiting for healthcare. Stop the invasion now, and county supervisors should be ashamed for making our city even more dangerous…

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